School started and the cold rainy days are approaching alongside with the time when everyone starts taking time to reflect and wonder if they are good enough after being tired of everyone judging them. So today i felt like sharing something with you that i hope it helps if you are going through any form of bullying. I made some research i was choked to see that it is estimated that 160,000 children miss school every day due to fear of attack or intimidation by other students, i was even more chocked to know the rates of self harm and suicide due to bullying.
In my early teens when i was approaching school my heart always started to speeding up as fast as it could go and my anxiety levels would raise. I had a few rough years in school, i was bullied by other girls and that made me wonder why i was being picked on, and at one point i started to believe in whatever they said to me. I was told that i was nerd, fat, weird, geek, posh, unbearable, gross, ugly and so many other things. I felt like there was nowhere to go, i thought that i wasn’t good enough and in my head that was the reason why i was picked on. I had very supportive parents but the feeling of getting even more vulnerable, the fear of repercussions, worrying them and feeling that someone had pity for me scared the hell out of me and therefore i never ever told my parents or anyone what was really going on whithin my school life.
The way i got through it wasn’t the best way but it worked with me, at one point and after a few years of suffering bullying i started thinking from another point of view by analyzing who were they targetting and the reasons they seamed to have picked on. So i have noticed they had a standard, they would pick on the more vulnerable ones with low self esteem and lack of confidence, who had better grades and own things they couldn’t afford. They were imitating croud in order not to be picked on, they were also kids with low self esteem who were influenced by the surrounding social climate. I am not defending them, not really but the way they act if you think about it is because they think you are better then them in some way, so they fell that you should be humiliated so you dont over shadow them.
So what i have done, i basically started giving pat on my own back by saying to myself that i was better then them, though i’ve continued allowing them to mistreat me and distress me until i left that school. I shouldn’t have allowed it to continue but i wasnt strong enough to make it stop nor i asked for any sort of help, but the way i stated thinking helped me to have more positive thoughts and to embrace the person i was. As i said before i was picked on because of a few body features, but guess what… We all have something we would like to change in ourselfs. Wouldnt it be better if i had longer legs, a liitle slim body or grow a few inches?! What makes us unique and special are thos e precisely the details.
It isn’t easy to make them stop, i know! But you need to step up and ask for help, whether it is your parents; teachers; friends or another adult you trust. Don’t even blame yourself for what is happening and despite what they say just be proud of who you are and who you wanna be. Learn how to deal with the stress and hurting feelings that you might be experiencing by commencing an activity, do whatever you love to do in order to give some peace to your mind.
Hope this has been helpful to any of you out there that need to read from someone who’s been in the same position as you are. If you need anyone to talk know that i’m always here and that you can reach out to me via email, comments or any social media. I have done a post about self-esteem if you want to read that as well (HERE
If i could i would tell something to my younger self i would say… Cat, let’s stop this buls** once and for all, you dont need to follow those crazy patterns… embrace yourself! Make sure that the outside reflects just what is inside, embrace the beautiful person you are.
If you need help from counselors, here’s the help lines:
United Kingdom: 0845 22 55787
United States of America: 888.248.0822
Brasil: (34) 3242 7408
Portugal: 91 831 02 08
New Zeland: 1-866-748-7047
Norway: 0047 959 77 767
Spain: 808 800 2222
Good websites to get advice (with chat):
Just before i go, i get questions about anxiety and how to control it quite often on my email, i was wondering if it is something you all would like me to talk about instead of replying to every single one of you.